I'm a Green-Eyed Monster

There, I said it.  I admit it.  I am jealous of "skinny people".

I joined Weight Watchers (again) today.  I'm not just doing it online, I'm going to attend the meetings.  I need the support.  I try to take on this whole "I can do it on my own" attitude, but it's just not true.  With that being said...

I am very jealous of people that are a size that I would like to be.  Friends, enemies, frenemies, strangers...you name it.  Granted most of these people I know nothing about.  I don't know if they binge and/or purge to get that way.  I don't know if they go to the gym five times a week.  I don't know if they're just born like that or if they're working their tails off to get and/or stay that way.  I just know that I look at them and there's always a twinge of jealousy towards them.  Why am I this way?  I don't know, but hopefully I'll find out on this weight loss journey.

I want this to be the last journey.  I want this to be the time where I reach my goal and stay there.  I know I have a lot to work on.  I have to work on my obsessive-compulsiveness when it comes to food.  I have to work on my instant gratification vs. the big picture way of eating.  I have to work on my self-loathing.  I have to work on my guilt.  Damn, I guess I have a lot of heavy stuff to work on.  I'm up for it.  I've got to hold myself accountable...and if anyone is reading this, please feel free to let me know and hold me accountable too.


Kristen Blair said…
don't be jealous! i've always admired that you seemed so comfortable to be yourself.

Just Jerri said…
Hey D'Ann - Congrats on taking that first step.. I know it's not easy. I strugglewith a carb addiction and eating when I'm "bored," or restless. And, my husband has a lot of work in front of him as well..

"We do this together." Count on me as part of your support network.

Literary Beauty said…
Kristen...comfortable with myself? DAMN, I'm a better actress than I thought! I knew I should've moved to Hollywood!

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